Friday, 13 September 2013

Jeremy Bloody Irons.



I've been meaning to write a post on this bloke for ages but I always talked myself out of it. With all the crap going on in the world today there are far more important things to take up your valuable time than reading a post about Jeremy Irons.

But for the past two days I have been on a juice only diet to try and get back to my fighting weight when I return to work next week. This has left me with a bin full of mashed up fruit and veg pulp and a craving for solid food. It has also left me in something of a foul mood so I've decided that now is the time to scratch the itch in my brain that is Jeremy Irons.

He first flounced onto British TV screens in 1981 in the mini-series Brideshead Revisited, were he played an upper class Englishman in a cast full of upper class Englishmen. People who like watching period stuff like Downton Abbey might enjoy this, it's full of big, posh houses and angst ridden melancholy.

This seems to have given Irons a reputation and a long career in film and theatre that to be honest, I don't feel he has the talent to back up. I've seen him in many films over the years and his presence always seems to me to be a disappointment. Actors like Alison Steadman or Steve Buscemi, can be in mediocre films but always light up the screen when they are on and are enjoyable to watch.

Irons is exactly the opposite. You know he is an actor because when he performs he LOOKS like he is acting, it comes across as forced and unnatural. Try having a listen to his Southern States accent in the recent Beautiful Creatures, it is like something from a local amateur dramatic society. Knowing he is in a film somehow lowers the quality of it, the same way the presence of Richard Chamberlain used to do, or Pierce Brosnan. I can never take these guys seriously as actors.

I bet there are thousands of actors out there waiting tables and working in bars who could act Irons into the floor, but they haven't had the lucky break that he has had.
 He is shit.

There, I've got that out of my system and it is as petty and small-minded as I feared it would be but I feel confident that Jeremy Irons will never hear of this rant and even on the off chance that he did, he would not care.

So I'll leave you to get on with the rest of your day and I will finish off the pint of cucumber, spinach, grapefruit and lemon juice that I am currently forcing down. It tastes a bit like one of those belches that brings a bit of sick up into my mouth.
Nice.

14 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Sorry about the juice diet, but hey! You'll feel better for it, eh?

As for Irons - the only thing I ever saw him in that I liked was when he played Claus Von Bulow in "Reversal of Fortune". I always thought Von Bulow was a slimy toad and Irons brought that across the screen so well it gave me the creeps.

But other than that? I have to agree. Not so much.

Hope you are back in action soon. There are vampires out there man! :wink:

Tony Van Helsing said...

Skippy: Reversal of Fortune was in his '80s heyday. It doesn't change my opinion of him, though.

Pat Hatt said...

With all the money he makes sure he won't care about your rant haha

altadenahiker said...

Bridesheads Revisited is worth it just to see John Gielgud as his father. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKjP2ZsfqIM (2 minutes)

I think you may be right. Possibly the reason I liked him as Claus Von Bulow is because he played a man who was always acting.

YeamieWaffles said...

I have to admit man, I've heard lots about Jeremy Irons but I don't think I've ever seen his films. One thing I will agree with you on with 100% certainty is if you always come across as an actor who is acting (even if that's exactly what they actually do) then you just aren't a fully talented actor, because like you're saying you need to be able to suspend your belief and if he doesn't allow for that then he definitely isn't that great.

Janie Junebug said...

So that's why you left such a grouchy comment on my blog. Why don't you just do high protein? You'd feel better and still lose weight. I watched that version of Brideshead Revisited a few years ago on DVD. It was okay. I like the movie for which Jeremy Irons won the Best Actor Acdemy Award, but I can't remember the name of it. He played Clause Von Bulow (probably spelled that wrong), who most likely put his rich, pompous obnoxious American wife, Sunny, into a coma, and was acquitted. I think it took her years to buy the farm. Fortunes. Something about Fortunes in the title. Outrageous Fortunes maybe? I'm too lazy to Google it. You're right about him, though. He doesn't sink into a character. He's very obviously acting.

Love,
Trailer Trash Janie

Tony Van Helsing said...

Janie: Reversal of Fortune was the movie.

Rob Z Tobor said...

Folk can get rather steamed up about Irons HAH HAHAHH HAH HAha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Emmylou said...

Ehrmahgerd! That juice diet has gone into your head, or you obviously have not see the movie Dungeons and Dragons, where he did his best.performance.ever.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Emmylou: Good one!

Margaret said...

I like Jeremy Irons. What was that movie where he is married to an heiress and on trial for her murder? He was so good. And. Of curse he ismScar in The Lion King, a favorite if my daughter.

Juliette said...

I think you should send him one of your horrible cocktails. Might improve his delivery.

Michaela said...

Hi and thanks for stopping by on my blog! Is that some detox smoothie combo you're having? And I don't like P. Brosnan.

Nicki Elson said...

I hope the juice diet did you right and that you're back on solids now. Also hope easing into work is going well.

You know, I've never thought about Irons' acting ability before. He's just so darn handsome, and that voice...oh, that voice. He could say anything in any way and I would lick it up like a kitten w/ a fresh bowl of cream. Same with Brosnin.