Sunday, 25 March 2012

Ged to Duh Choppuh!



My last couple of posts have had a touch of the miserable about them so instead of being Mr Gloom Trousers let's talk about movie plot holes.
I was watching Predator the other night when I spotted something I hadn't noticed before.

For anyone not familiar with Mr Schwarzenegger's body of work, Predator tells the story of a group of  over-muscled and heavily armed Special Forces types who go to rescue some CIA bloke from rebels or something in the South American jungle and end up being hunted by an eight foot Rastafarian space lizard.  It could happen.

At one point they trap the alien in a big net but it manages to escape.  Now I don't remember seeing any of them carrying a massive net around and I have no idea why they would take a net on a rescue mission in the jungle.
Maybe they were planning a bit of mackerel fishing. 'Id's boolshit, all of id'!

While I'm talking about aliens I always thought that ET would have been a better film if it ended when he died.  Sorry, but that's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.  Instead he turns into Jesus and gets chased by the army on Elliott's push bike.  Just when it looks like there is no escape ET suddenly develops the ability to fly and goes soaring off  with Elliott and his bike.
Why didn't he use this handy flying ability when he was being chased at the beginning of the film?  So much for him being an advanced intelligence.

Last but not least is the bombastic fuckwittery of Star Wars.  At the film's climax the Death Star is going to blow up the rebel moon but has to wait until a planet gets out of the way to give them a clear shot. Apparently it did not occur to anybody on board the the Death Star to just blow up the planet that is in the way, especially as the rebel space ships are attacking them.
As evil empire's go they aren't particularly evil and even though Darth Vader looks pretty cool, he is all wind and piss really.

Anybody else got examples of movie plot holes?


18 comments:

YeamieWaffles said...

I haven't got any fresh examples but I find these both very interesting to say the least Tony. Thanks for that advice when it comes to my brother as well. Honestly I understand adults should make their own decisions but you could understand why I might worry a bit, good advice though.

The Angry Lurker said...

Any of the old bond movies where they don't kill him straight away and put him in a situation where he can escape....still makes me chuckle!

jamiessmiles said...

Harry Potter had a time machine. Why not go back and kill Tom Riddle before Voldemort?

Zyu said...

There are so many plot holes to be spotted if you watch the movie multiple times.

Jax said...

I don't really remember ET all that well and I've never seen predator. This post went a little over my head. That's ok, because I remember being deathly afraid of aliens as a child. lol

Janie Junebug said...

Tree of Life: It doesn't have mere plot holes. It has no plot. But it was nominated for the Academy Award for best picture. It might be more difficult to name a movie that doesn't have plot holes. Oh, and Ah-nold's body of work resulted in an illegitimate child while he was married to Maria Shriver.

Love,
Janie

SkippyMom said...

"Bombstic fucktwittery" and "Mr. Gloom Trouserpants" made me grin big. Thanks - and you are SO right, especially about Star Wars [haven't seen Predator, but yep, spot on].

I don't know any plot holes off the top of my head, but I can say "Independence Day" is one of the LOUDEST dang movies I have ever seen and I still managed to fall asleep [in the theatre no less] no less. :D

Pat Hatt said...

There are plot holes in every friggin show or movie where the hero gets captured. The bad guy rants and rants about how he is going to kill him, when they should just do it already. Always something in like 99.9% of movies.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Matthew: It's only natural to worry about your brother, that's what siblings are for. It does you credit.

Lurker: Don't get me started on Bond.

Jamie: I had no idea Potter had a time machine.

Zyu: I don't think I could watch it multiple times.

Jax: To be honest Predator is a bit of a bloke's film, I don't think you'd like it.

Janie: Good point, anything I have seen by Terence Malick is a pretentious, meandering mess.

Skippy: Armageddon was the loudest I've seen, and the hardest to watch. All the special effects gave me a headache.

Pat: Bullet to the head, they should teach it in villain school.

Bart said...

probably one of the best movies of all time, hands down.

Workingdan said...

It's funny how they always have something they need. Stuff just appears out of nowhere whenever they need it!

Padded Cell Princess said...

I am usually impossible to watch movies with because I constantly point out plot holes...and so you'd think I could name some...will be getting back to you on that.
I will say though that I hated The Notebook because she was such a brat that she didn't deserve such a nice guy! Dumb girl movie!

Craziness abounds said...

Amen to all of the above! I never got why ET didn't use his power earlier either. All I can think of here is he was a minor intelligence and that is why he was stuck on earth in the first place.

Electric Addict said...

I've seen movies/shows where it's middle of the day and then suddenly it's night.

altadenahiker said...

I haven't seen any of these. Well, I guess I saw Star Wars, but must have left mid-way.

Check out Casablanca. It's set in a bar, everyone orders drinks, but no one drinks them. They leave in a huff seconds after the drink arrives. I don't think you see anyone paying, either.

Heaven. said...

Don't all action movies have plot holes?

Britta said...

Dear Tony,
as I don't see action movies, I have a "talk-hole" and can't say anything to that subject. But hopefully I chirp a comment under your next post! Britta

BragonDorn said...

I loved the part where they caught it with the net and it got out of it like it was nothing :)