Friday, 6 January 2012

New Year Fat Shows

You know it's a New Year by all the weight loss shows on the telly and my gym is full of new members looking uncertainly at gym equipment and clutching the free towels they received when they joined. Here are some of the weight loss shows currently guilting the public into losing the Christmas fat.

Fat Families is a British offering hosted by a bloke called Steve Miller who looks like a DJ from a hospital radio station in his groovy red framed glasses. Each week he berates a hapless family who have all managed to eat themselves into the world of fatness. His slightly camp demeanour and insistence on alliteration when addressing the families sets my teeth on edge after about five minutes of watching.

Calling them 'chunky chubbies' and 'wobbly widebottoms' can't do a lot for their self esteem, something that might have got them into this state in the first place.

Fat Fighters is another British offering that follows the personal trainers in a London gym and shows the lengths they go to in a competitive market. They are led by a huge bloke from California called Mark 'The Pillar' Miller who looks like a giant neck. Mark plans to use his Californian sense of optimism to galvanise overweight, gloomy Brits into taking care of themselves.

He is likeable and knows what he is talking about however he has a disconcerting habit of looking fully into camera when he is lifting enormous weights, his bulging veins and sweating purple face gives the viewer an idea of what they would be looking at if he had sex with them.
Amongst the trainers is an East European woman who looks about seven foot tall and wears rubber bondage gear and cracks a whip when she runs her classes.
I'm hooked.

But the grandaddy of them all is The Biggest Loser. I've tried watching the Australian and British versions but these are watered down and pale in comparison with the American original, which is bigger, louder and better produced.
The contestants spend three months on a ranch concentrating fully on weight loss, the one who loses the most weight walks away with quarter of a million dollars.

Managing their training regime are the good cop/bad cop combination of Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels, two of the best trainers I have seen. They don't just shout at people to work harder but get inside their heads until the contestants face up to the reasons they have put so much weight on.
Quite often these people have suffered a tragedy in their lives or horrendous bullying and have spiralled into comfort eating.
One of the reasons I enjoy this show is watching the contestants become more empowered with each episode as they become fitter and more confident in themselves.

This is something that weight loss surgery could never achieve.

The Biggest Loser is addictive stuff and tonight I will be sitting down to watch it with my wife, a bottle of wine and a big packet of crisps.

Then going to the gym to work the crisps off.


Janie Junebug said...

I have never seen any of those shows. They would make me feel guilty for not being able to get past 15 lbs. lost. But I will! Oh, yes, I will.


Janie "Lola"

Al Penwasser said...

Ahhh, America.
Our fatness pays real dividends.
In ratings and Twinkies.

YeamieWaffles said...

I hate shows like this man, honestly I just stay away from them at all costs, same for the fitness DVDs. I can't believe you hate Eastenders by the way, my disappointment over that is massive dude, damn!

Violet said...

My favorite Fatassed Moment:
Someone who frequents fast-food chains orders a double-fat burger, triple-fat fries, and an apple "pie" along with a super-chug of Diet Coke. Rediculous. Who are these people kidding with the diet soda? And if the diabetic [type 2] crowd says some crap about not eating sugar, my reply is: perhaps you could have thought about that 15 years ago. People eat their Amer-I-Can way through such crappy foods, and then act surprised they get fat and diseased. I personally hate to exercise, so I must trick myself into doing it. And I enjoy eating well, healthy foods taste better that junk. Junk is an exception to the rule, not the main focus... Stupid exercise shows. I wonder how many ex-fatties keep it off.

Belle said...

I've seen Biggest Loser and liked it. Enjoy!

Sub-Radar-Mike said...

TBL has got to be one of the weirdest shows ever. It really does underline the first world's obsession with weight.

Pat Hatt said...

You know it's fun how you have all these fat shows and then they play commercials for McDonald's or some crap during them. If everyone truly lost their weight, they'd go bankrupt and you can't have that huh. I HATE reality tv too.

Janet Johnson said...

Can I just say that I love the word 'bloke'? And wow, that's a lot of fitness shows. I do enjoy The Biggest Loser when I get a chance to see it. Good stuff! But man, Jillian is a killer. (in a good way)

vanyelmoon said...

I wish they showed Fat Fighters over here. It sounds like a blast. I don't have TV but I do have Netflix. Maybe they will load it someday. I hope your 2012 is starting out great :)

Anonymous said...

I need to watch that show.

Britta said...

Dear Tony,
the subject of slimming is one that interests people very, very much (and you can earn a lot of money with it): when I look at the stats of my blogs I see the two absolute "runners" - both about weight. My feelings are mixed: I saw a photo of Demi Moore yesterday and was utterly shocked by the skeleton figure she now has - so unhappy! On the other side I see the mindless munching of people (on the Christmas market for one minute I thought I was beamed into a picture of Breughel - most people had nothing else to do than eat). To look at other people's fight to get slim would not lure me to the telly - I prefer a good detective drama,and do sports myself.

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

I've never watched "The Biggest Loser," but I have a friend who keeps trying to get on it. She wants this so badly. I'll hope she'll get on it someday.

Bart said...

only in America, would this be socially acceptable behavior.

Padded Cell Princess said...

I've seen the ads for Fat Fighters but the European women scares the crap out of me! Plus that big Californian dude just looks like the worlds biggest, veiny dildo. I don't know how people are attracted to that. Apparently, the only good thing Cheryl Cole ever said was, "I like a man who likes his pie." and I can't agree with her more!

Vapid Vixen said...

Your description of Mark Miller made me cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. Yikes.

SkippyMom said...

We stopped watching "The Biggest Loser" because although we liked the show and cheered the people on - they really wanted to lose weight - it was so sad when someone had to be voted off. We wanted them all to stay, but it wouldn't have been much of a game show then, would it?

Tony Van Helsing said...

Janie: Oh yes, you will.

Al: Two out of three of you guys are obese, I'm surprised your country doesn't sink.

Matthew: Different tastes, my friend.

Violet: How do you trick yourself into exercising.

Belle: I'm addicted.

Mike: Linked to the first worlds obsession with food.

Pat: Just like when McDonalds and Coca Cola sponsor the Olympics, ironic.

Janet: She's a killer but very easy on the eye.

Vaneylmoon: It's only just started so it might not be on Netflix yet.

Interweb: Yes you do.

Britta: People need to find a middle ground and not go to either extreme of the eating spectrum.

Elisabeth: I understand that BL is an extreme show but if she wants to lose weight she is better off exercising and taking control of her diet rather than hoping to get on the show.

Bart: You lot are indeed crazy.

Princess: 'a big, veiny dildo', you've hit the nail on the head.

Vixen: That's what I was aiming for.

Skippy: the gameplay and the voting off is the least interesting aspect for me.

BragonDorn said...

I have always wanted to see biggest loser but never tivo'd it..

Baur said...

I dont have weight problems now but i'm sure once my metabolism slows down.... Following btw :) Great blog

TexaGermaFinlaNadian said...

That show is great. Sometimes people just need that in your face inspiration to get going. BUT I will say that I am annoyed by all the new comers at the gym. Sure, I understand you are trying to get in shape, but please, for goodness sake, learn the rules of the gym, wipe down your equipment, and for some of you, wear deodorant, and those that go year round will really welcome you ;)

Zap McBlowfist said...

Lol i dont need anymore reminding to start going to the gym :D God i want my 6 pack back xD great blog pal +following!

The Angry Lurker said...

These shows make me sad and hungry......

Tony Van Helsing said...

Bragondorn: What's a tivo?

Baur: Thank you, also following.

Texa: There are plenty of people who have been going for years who still haven't picked up the rules.

Zap: Likewise, following.

Lurker: This is the funniest response, you win.

Anonymous said...

The lady is hot. ;)

Margaret said...

Tony, I promise. We will always be bigger and louder.

Miranda Hardy said...

I don't follow tv shows anymore, but I have watched several of the biggest loser shows. I enjoy watching the finale to see the end result.

altadenahiker said...

I like our cultural exchange. You get the biggest loser, we get Downton Abbey.

Baur said...

I know alot of people whose resolutions is to loose weight

Dylanthulhu said...

I didn't make a resolution to lose weight, but I've lost about 15 pounds since Christmas.

Juliette said...

I have yet to see the show this year. Too busy getting through my quality street.

Anonymous said...

Jillian scares me. Like, part of you wants to jump into bed with her, but the other part is screaming like a little girl with a skinned knee because you know she'd break you.

This comment brought to you by opiates.

Anonymous said...

This is actually (without the tv stuff) what I do. I help people get in shape and lose weight. I use one of Jillian Michaels programs in conjunction with teaching people to eat right. It's amazing how their attitudes start changing when they drop the weight. Great post!

Nuker Zero said...

Thing is, in America, we really need a great weight loss show =/

Btw, -B-ook of The End is finished!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Pesos: Smoking.

Margaret: I know.

Miranda: I am totally hooked on them, I look forward to the new year because I know they will be on.

Hiker: you are welcome to it, I hate costume dramas.

Baur: Resolutions are one thing, actions are another.

Dylan: Good going mate.

Juliette: I like the green triangles.

Joshua: I know what you are saying, she can jump up and down on me screaming all she wants.

Craziness: I had no idea you did that, it must be very rewarding.

Nuker: You've already got one. I'll have a look at the Book.

Gia said...

The biggest loser just makes me crave carbs. Idk why.