Friday, 13 May 2011

Famous Blast Words


FAME, I want to live forever! Well, you can't because in 3 billion years our galaxy will collide with the Andromeda galaxy causing entire solar systems to smash into each other and be torn apart. So nothing lasts forever.

This theory has not deterrred the neverending supply of deluded people who want to appear on shows like X Factor, American Idol and Britain's Got Talent from queuing outside TV studios. Desperate for a chance to peform in a stadium full of lasers and howling people waving signs saying things like 'WE LUV U DEREK' while a panel of sneering multi-millionaires make them dance like monkeys for our entertainment.

These people don't seem to know what they want, they chase after fame but don't consider the potential downside of achieving it.

Let's say you have achieved your ambition to be famous, you've got money and access to drugs and lots of people want to have sex with you. Now you have to worry about remaining famous, if you slip out of the limelight for a millisecond there are an army of younger, better looking people with an eye on your spot at the top.

If you go to a club you could remain stone cold sober all night but when you emerge the paparazzi will take a million phtographs of you and the one where your eyes are half closed and your jaw is hanging open like a village idiot's will make the cover of the checkout scandal rags.

Is this sort of fame really worth it? Surely the fame achieved by people like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King or Marie Curie is a more healthy kind. These people had a goal and strived to reach it, fame was a byproduct of this and not their intention.

Contestants on these talent shows often say how music is their life and all they have ever wanted is a career in music. Well why aren't forming bands, writing their own songs and doing the club circuit.

Instead they have a few drunken karaoke sessions down the pub and think they are ready. They aren't interested in achieving anything other than fame. If Simon Cowell told them he would make them a star if they shoved a pineapple up their arse spiky end first on live television, most of them would bend over.

We are so obsessed with the entertainment industry that we lose sight of the fact that if we al tried to achieve fame then our society would collapse as no-one was doing the real, unsung work.

So my advice to all those starry-eyed dreamers out there is to get a real job and contribute something worthwhile to society instead of just another bland, factory produced crooner.

30 comments:

Colin Biano said...

meh, becoming famous is too much work

i'll stick to being a nobody

mark fellows said...

What about the easy ride? Not having to work at Wal Mart, or get an education at one of those pesky colleges?

Violet said...

america's got talent.
just none of it can be seen on television.

support local art, local music, and real people you meet every day...
and for the love of god, avoid reality tv, it's anything but real!!!

Kelly said...

I think it would be awful not to be able to go anywhere without being swarmed or photographed.
I would love the minifame of being a successful author where I am recognized a handful times a year by a kid who loved my book!

Bushman said...

For sure. Could you imagine if all new performers had to go through the American idol gauntlet before being allowed on the radio?
What a crappy radio we would have. Everyone knows that the vote is in the hands of the teenage girls! Mark my words the country bumpkin will win american idol!

Belle said...

I would hate to be famous, but I would love the money.

Mynx said...

Not interested in fame. Much too fleeting.
And how many of these reality stars really find happiness that isnt in the bottle of booze or pills in the end?

Tony Van Helsing said...

Colin: Nobody is a nobody.

Mark: I like the ones who say I've wanted to be a musucian all my life' an they are only about 16.

Violet: Good point, it was an eye opener when reality shows were put on hold because of the writers strike.

Kelly: A bit like Pink Floyd, one of the worlds biggest bands and most people wouldn't know them if they saw them in the checkout queue.

Bushman: Teenage girls are only interested in the hairstyles, not the music.

Belle: Yeah, the money wouldn't hurt.

Mynx: Good point Mynx. I think when they get there they say to themselves 'Is this it'?

dirtycowgirl said...

yeah. well said.

But I could've summed all that stuff about staying famous up in two (ridiculous) words :

Katie Price.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Dirty: Katie Price is the living embodiment fame for fames sake. You are spot on.

Sarah said...

Nice post, I completely agree.

You can't take 'reality' shows, such as the X Factor, seriously anyway. They are all staged and manipulated. Pathetic!

duffboi said...

Awesome post. Following.

Lindsay N. Currie said...

Anonymity has never sounded so good:)

Moobeat said...

thanks for the post

Tony Van Helsing said...

Sarah: I take them about a seriously as I do wrestling.

Duffboi: Thanks mate, also following.

Lindsay: Anonymity is underrated.

Moobeat: For you, anything.

Hannah {Culture Connoisseur} said...

Ah, a fellow realist. Hello, nice to meet you! I don't believe in ideals... at least when they have no benefit to society. And as far as I'm concerned shaking one's booty on Mtv serves no purpose whatsoever.

If someone were to shake their booty to end world hunger...I may have to reevaluate things.

Al Penwasser said...

Plus, isn't the world supposed to end this Saturday at something like 6:00? I'm royally hacked off because I thought we had until 2012.

altadenahiker said...

Even crazier than those who compete are those who watch them compete. I don't get it at all.

Jo Schaffer said...

Fame is like having a tiger by the tail. Anybody in any of the arts who isn't doing it for the passion of the art and creating is in for a bitter realization--unless you love yourself and what you do-- crowds of admirers cannot fill that space.

Tony Van Helsing said...

Hannah: Pleasure to meet you too. I have no problem with booty shaking for the pleasure of doing so.

Al: Great, that's my weekend knackered then.

Alta: I keep expecting the people who watch to suddenly blink, rub their eyes and say 'Hang on, this is crap'!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Jo: That is exactly what I was trying to say.

Susan Fields said...

Whenever I go to the grocery stores and see those magazines in the checkout lane, I'm so glad no one cares enough to put my picture on the front of a magazine.

Geoffrey said...

I rather like being a talentless nobody

Tony Van Helsing said...

Susan: It's empty fame.

Geoffrey: Hail us talentless nobodies.

Kait Lisbeth said...

I live in Hollywood and the need for fame is a disease over here. Well written and very true!

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fame is delusional...i totally agree with you, contributing is really the key to keep it going

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Meri said...

The thing about fame is- even if its worth all of the work it takes some people to get, you can't ever really reverse it. You can make it fade (hence the "where are they now" phenomenon), but you can't really "undo" it if you decide you don't like it. So I live on the side of blissful nobodiville. It's grand!

Tony Van Helsing said...

Meri: It's said when you see someone who used to be famous years ago and they still have the same hairdo they did when they were famous.

OatmealStout said...

Meh, I say let them try and fail miserably!

Maggie said...

lol well so much for it being over ;P