Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Tears Gorgon


I've only ever seen bits of the Larry King Show and from what I've seen of the man himself he had screen presence and gravitas.

When it was announced that he was stepping down and Piers Morgan was replacing him I thought that King can't have been that good if they think Morgan is a suitable replacement.

In the UK we've been putting up with Morgan for years and if I'm honest he hasn't exactly won over the public.

When you look at his career their have been plenty of gaffes. He had been editor of the UK tabloid Daily Mirror for less than a year when he managed to upset Germans and British alike with his 'Achtung, Surrender' front page headline printed the day before the Euro '96 semi-final and was forced to apologise.

In 2000 he was the subject of an investigation when The Daily Telelgraph reported that he had invested £20,000 in computer company Viglen before the Mirror's City Slickers column reported the shares going on sale.

The two financial reporters were jailed but Morgan smarmed his way out of prosecution, although a subsequent investigation by the Department of Trade and Industry revealed Morgan had in fact bought £67,000 in Viglen shares.

He was eventually fired by The Mirror in 2004 for jumping on the Abu Ghraib bandwagon and publishing photos allgedley showing troops of the Queens Lancashire Regiment torturing Iraqi soldiers.
These photos turned out to be faked.

Not to be deterred Piers decided to try his hand at television. On the celebrity version of The Apprentice he teamed up with Tony Blair's ex-hatchet man Alistair Campbell in bullying TV presenter Trinny Woodhall until she started crying.
Nice.

Since then ITV gave him a £2 milion contract to front a dismal celebrity chat show where he fawns over the rich and famous and asks banal questions, the answers to which you could get by reading Heat magazine.

He never comes over as likeable, funny or interesting. He looks like Pinoccho after becoming a real boy, then growing up to be an estate agent.

I assume that he has some pictures stashed away of some extremely powerful person having sex with farmyard animals because, to be honest, I can't think how this talentless, posh bore has managed to reach the elevated status that he has.

Anyway, I don't know why I'm complaining because the Americans are stuck with him now. Sorry but we've sold you a lemon, no refunds.

19 comments:

Oilfield Trash said...

I agree with you, he has to have some kind of pictures of someone humping a sheep because I think he is boring and lacks talent.

Al Penwasser said...

That Larry sure had a cool set of suspenders, though.
But, Piers' lack of pizazz aside, it's what I've always said. You can read the colors in a box of Crayolas or the ingredients of oatmeal. As long as you have a British accent, they'll think you're Olivier.
Unless you have a fake accent like Madonna.
Everybody sing....."I don't want her, you can have 'er. She's too skank for me."

Tony Van Helsing said...

That's why Jeremy Irons keeps getting work, his poncey accent.

Al Penwasser said...

See? That's what I mean!

altadenahiker said...

Thank God you Brits actually have something worse than Larry King. Aside from kidney pie, I mean.

Tony Van Helsing said...

If you don't like kidney pie then you should try Black Pudding (also known as blood sausage).

Stare Dad said...

I know I don't say this a lot. But.. WUT?

Samuel said...

I cannot stand the man and am quite happy that he has gone across the pond. Shame it doesn't stop him having a go at Lord Sugar on twitter though.

SkippyMom said...

Wow - I didn't know all that about Piers Morgan - love the title btw. But now I like him even less.

What a tool. How did he become so popular [I mean, besides the British accent - which isn't all that alluring.]

Gelai said...

my papa and I watch Larry King's show! I don't know Piers Morgan tho.. I have to google that one! :) haha

Tony Van Helsing said...

Stare Dad: Which part has caused the confusion?
Samuel: Whats he been saying about the Sugar?
Skippy: Ignore the accent, listen the rubbish he talks.
Gelai: Don't bother googling him, you'll be disappointed.

Samuel said...

hes always arguing about follower amount and having a go because of his stupid tv show in american, just cannot stand the man.

manders said...

yeah, i thought it was weird that the "britain's got talent" guy was doing a real show.

Tony Van Helsing said...

I've no end of shit on Morgan but I didn't want to put it all in the blog otherwise it would have gone on too long. Suffice to say I am not keen on him.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

God I love Piers!!!

bobo said...

Most News Channels baffle me. They aren't really news channels anyway, instead it feels like trying to be info-tainment.

THUNDERCAT832 said...

I think Larry's damn suspenders hold his entire damn body together! I just had to point out that theory ;)

Margaret said...

Darn! If we had only known he was a lemon! We should have kicked the tires first.

NotaSupermom said...

I've seen the show.

Mr. Morgan came of as touchy, I thought. He'd said some nice things about Larry King and then got his feelings hurt when Mr. King's opinion of him was less than thrilled.