Tuesday, 23 July 2013
No Pressure, Kid.
A couple of you may have heard in the news about a Royal baby being born and far be it from me to miss out on a band wagon.
I was working when this was announced and the first I heard about the birth was when I bumped into two drunk women in the street who told me about the little lad being born. The ladies then asked me if I thought he should be called Mohammed as this was the most popular male name on the planet.
I said this would probably not be a good idea as Islamic people would not be chuffed by a non-Muslim figurehead of an increasingly secular Christian country being named after their prophet.
So here I am the next day after the birth watching the 24 hour news channels working themselves into a lather. This involves a great deal of standing around outside the hospital with hundreds of other TV crews, endlessly spouting the same sentences to fill the time until something else happens.
Despite the recession and general misery that usually floats around Britain has been enjoying a good couple of years, particularly in sport. We had the Queen's Diamond Jubilee in the same year as the enormously successful London Olympic games.
England hammered the Australians at cricket this month, Australia again suffered defeat this time in rugby at the hands of the British and Irish Lions and Chris Froome is the second Brit in a row to win the Tour de France.
So with all this national pride in the air at the moment I reckon the new Royal baby should be called Arthur. I mean, think about it, there has only been one King Arthur and he was legendary so it's about time we had another.
The legend says that King Arthur will return when the country needs him so it makes sense to have an Arthur on standby, just in case.
And if the King has to save the country in it's hour of need then this should silence the people who say the Royals don't do enough for the money we spend on them.
Why stop there? If we are serious about keeping the monarchy system then we may as well embrace it fully and as well as King Arthur we should have a Round Table, a castle called Camelot and a wizard called Merlin. Think of the boost to the tourist industry.