Tuesday, 19 February 2013
I'm Gonna Get Sued.
I was going to talk about how I have a whole new chapter in my life starting next week and am genuinely excited about it. I was even going to talk about how I am off work this week and being all middle aged about it by doing the small repairs around the home that I have been putting off for so long.
But instead of blathering on about how smug and cool I think I am I've decided to have a rant instead.
You can blame McDonald's for this change of tack. I've just watched a TV commercial in which a step father tries to bond with his new step son. Said step son doesn't want to know and slouches around in his hoody, mumbling incomprehensibly and generally behaving the way that all stroppy teenagers do.
But when step dad takes the surly little shit to McDonald's they suddenly bond over a Big Mac meal and a very weak joke. The tag line at the end of the advert states: We all have McDonald's in common'.
I'm starting to lose track of what McDonald's are all about. I thought they were a massive multi-national business spreading across the face of the Earth like a virus, destroying rainforests and local food cultures and small businesses in it's wake.
But I was wrong. It is in fact a benevolent, kindly, pipe smoking uncle that we can turn to for advice or when life gets us down. The next time I go into McDonald's I am going to ask the sixteen year old, minimum wage lad behind the counter how I should cope with the recent death of a much loved relative.
Then I will buy a burger because that is what McDonald's do.
They sell burgers.