Gopping Star of the Week #1

Chris Moyles.








In this unfair world of injustice and despair inducing woe it comes as no great surprise to see that shite rises to the top. People whose strongest qualities are raw ambition and being prepared to stab colleagues in the back.

We've all worked with them and seen their unashamed butt crack licking of superiors and bare faced cheek when claiming credit for ideas and solutions that perhaps they could have come up with themselves if they hadn't channeled all their energy into looking good in front of the boss.


This can be the only explanation for Chris Moyles rise to the coveted Breakfast Show position on Radio One. There he has sat since 2004 with his crew of cackling cronies who fall about at his piss poor attempts at humour.


The BBC press office say, 'Renowned for his outspoken, honest style and wit Chris has become part of the fabric of the nation'.


This would be the bleary eyed, just woken up part of the nation who can't face the daily horrorshow of the morning news but need some sort of external noise to wake them up.


Moyles seems to possess the musical knowledge of most daytime Radio One DJ's which is precisely knack all. Their job is to broadcast the playlist given to them and fill in the bits inbetween songs with whatever words come spilling from their mouths. Basically they need to be able to talk a lot for a few hours.


Most DJ's usually broadcast on their own but Moyles has his crew with him so they can swap banter in an imitiation of the rest of us proles in offices and factories.

This is a style he has taken from Steve Wright in the Afternoon and Chris Evans, particularly Evans, who seems to be a driving force behind Moyles.


In 2002 Evans produced Moyles's first attempt to break into television, Live with Chris Moyles on Channel Five which was a watered down rip off of TFI Friday and was so wincingly awkward and stilted that it lasted one series. He also was on Capital FM as was Evans after starting out on Radio Aire at sixteen.


Moyles is good at being successful but is not what he thinks he is, and that is funny. His misogynistic gobshite rants and flimsy song parodies come over as forced. This probably explains why his crew laugh as much as they do, to flash in big neon letters that this is HILARIOUS.
The TV advert for Moyles's song parodies album showed a Godzilla sized Chris stomping around a city waving at people through high rise building's windows as though he is every one's giant mate. Add this to him calling himself 'the saviour of Radio One' then you get some idea of the size of ego we are talking about here.


At the end of the day Moyles may be a successful DJ with seven million listeners but millions of people watch X Factor as well and just goes to show that a lot of people are easily fooled.


Last word goes to John Peel, a DJ who genuinely loved music instead of using radio as a springboard for his own ego, 'If Chris Moyles is the future of radio I'm going to kill myself and take him with me'.